Steal My Punchline

You know how sometimes you're telling a joke, and you're trying to pause for just the right amount of time to build tension before delivering the punchline, and then someone else blurts it out? I just invented a new game based on that. Or maybe someone else invented it, but I haven't heard of it.

The game is called "Steal My Punchline." Here's how it works. Someone tells the beginning of a joke. Then someone else delivers the punchline. Maybe it's the actual punchline, maybe it's not. Maybe it's funny, maybe it's not.

This site probably doesn't have enough readers anymore to make this work, but let's give it a try in the comments anyhow. I'll start us off, and then someone else can comment with the punchline and start another joke; the next person will add a punchline to that joke and start another, etc.

Here's your setup: What did the zero say to the eight?

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Man, that chicken is such a jerk

I'm enjoying all the new Jerk Chicken comics. However, I'm not sure I agree with his parenting style.

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Spelling, illustrated

Check out these Ten Words You Need To Stop Misspelling; the illustrations are great. Not that I'd ever misspell those words, of course. That would be wierd.

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Today's discovery

I get more angry driving in traffic (very angry) than I do about losing my debit card (not angry at all). I wonder what that says about my priorities. Or maybe it's just that other people are stupid jerks who should pick a frickin' lane already.

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I finally found a use for Twitter

Just last week, I came across three links that I didn't have time to follow up with while at work, but was interested in going back to later. I was about to compose about the 100th email to myself entitled "Links" (which I never read before they are archived to my old messages folder), when I remembered this whole Twitter thing. So for at least the short term, I'll be updating my Twitter feed with those links. Some of them will probably be made into blog posts; some of them will be forgotten forever once I've added the link. If you'd like to follow along, you can do that here.

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100 things, part ten

30. I've started looking into retirement planning, on the notion that my lazziez faire approach to finances won't guarantee that I can stop working at some point in my lifetime. Turns out I like having money much more than I like thinking about money and sorting out the details.
31. The green stuff that interests me more these days is brussels sprouts. They're tasty! I've recently had them three different ways: sauteed, grilled, and baked. They were all good. Thank you, tastebuds, for being less picky as I get older.
32. According to a life expectancy calculator I just ran through, I could live until I'm 102 years old. Holy crap. That seems like overkill to me. It means I could potentially live for another 67 years, which means I'm only just over 1/3 of the way there. Hey, I might even finish my 100 things list by then. If I'm still blogging at that point, I bet this will seem like such a quaint, old-school piece of the web, while all the kids are streaming their whole lives in 3D or whatever they get up to. Weird.

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I am excited about books

Books are such excellent companions that I frequently enjoy them more than people (not you, of course; you're perfect). Over the past few years, I haven't been reading as steadily as I used to. Prior to that, I was always in the middle of a book. As soon as I finished one, I'd wait an hour or sometimes a day or two to let it process and pick up another. Lately, it's been less regular than that. I read in spurts: three books one week, and then nothing for almost a month, which makes me feel unsettled and kind of antsy.

The past couple of weeks, however, life has slowed down enough that I'm able to dive back into books wholeheartedly. So of course I've gone overboard, but I'm just passionate about this reading thing, and am excessively pleased with the books on my to-be-read shelf (OK, to-be-read bookcase, but who's counting?)

Consider these to be a few of my resolutions for the new year:

• The Kingdom of Ohio, by Matthew Flaming
  I'm pretty biased toward liking this book because Matthew is a friend and former co-worker of mine. A little more than six years ago, Matthew and I started work the same week in a seedy office in Portland's Hollywood district. We sat about four feet from each other, coding away, until he left a year or a year and a half later. Anyhow, he's pretty rad and I'm very excited about his debut novel. Plus, I have a signed first edition. Kick ass!
• The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield
  This is on loan from my clumsy friend. She's got good taste in books, so one that makes her tear up when the author describes how it is to love books, well, I've just got to read that.
• Shades of Grey by Jasper Fforde
  I love Jasper Fforde, and not just because his last name starts with the same consonant twice (but, seriously, how cool is that?) The Thursday Next series was so incredibly delightful, I can't wait to dive into his latest novel.
• Good Poems, collected and introduced by Garrison Keillor
  In the writing workshop I took last Fall, we read several poems, which reminded me that I hardly ever read poetry these days, unless Dale posts some on his blog. My sister gave me this book for Christmas, and I love it! It's so nice when I have five or ten minutes between other things and I can sit down with a poem. For me, a good poem is one that is like reading a picture on a postcard.
• Alphabet Juice: The Energies, Gists, and Spirits of Letters, Words, and Combinations Thereof; Their Roots, Bones, Innards, Piths, Pips, and Secret Parts, Tinctures, Tonics, and Essences; With Examples of Their Usage Foul and Savory by Roy Blount Jr.
  This was also a Christmas present, from Ransom's parents. As I read the full title on Christmas morning, my excitement grew and grew. Isn't that a wonderful title? This promises to be a lot of fun to read, but as it's structured more like a dictionary, possibly not all in one sitting.
• Bleak House by Charles Dickens
  I only discovered a few years ago that I really enjoy Charles Dickens. My junior year of high school, I was convinced that I didn't like Dickens by a dreadful combination my own bad attitude, A Tale of Two Cities, and a teacher with whom I would later argue about her grading system moments before she had an aneurysm. (Incidentally, I was prompted to read Dickens again because because Miss Havisham from Great Expectations was a character in the second of the Thursday Next novels by Jasper Fforde.)
• The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
  I'd like to see the movie, but won't until I've read the book.
• Julie and Julia: My Year of Cooking Dangerously by Julie Powell
  Another book I picked up so that I can watch the movie in good conscience. I heard the movie was good, bought the book, and then read that only half of the movie was good. It'll be interesting to see if I'm still interested in the movie after I've read the book (I suspect I will).
• McCarthy's Bar: A Journey of Discovery In Ireland by Pete McCarthy
  I picked this up for Jesse and I to read together. It looks fun, and combines two topics that interest us both: travel and beer. Sounds like the perfect bedtime story to me!
• The Wordy Shipmates by Sarah Vowell
  This has been sitting unread on my bookcase for a woefully long time, and I have no idea why I haven't read it yet. I clearly purchased it in the midst of some flurry of activity and then promptly forgot it. It's on the list now, though. It will be read. Sarah Vowell is awesome.
• There are also two books I would like to read for work: Managing Humans: Biting and Humorous Tales of a Software Engineering Manager by Michael Lopp and Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us by David H. Pink. I have the first one, and read a preview of the other on my Kindle; they're both pretty good. I won't make any promises about reading these this year, though. My reading time is so wonderfully not work, I frequently have a hard time merging them.

I could go on, but this post is getting long, the day is nearly over, and I'm more excited to find out what happens with Peter Force and Cheri-Anne Toledo in the book I'm reading (hint: it's the first one on the list).

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