How did I get here?

I frequently have moments (as do all of us, I'm sure) where I think to myself, "How exactly did I get here?" It usually happens when the whirl of activity has reached its apex and even though every action that led to the next made perfect sense at the time, I've wound up trapped in an absurd moment.

The recent example of this that comes to mind is the day when I moved last August. There was a moment, right before we left with the final load that probably looked something like this:

A U-Haul sits in the driveway of a two-story townhouse. Six or seven people are resting, closing up the U-Haul or walking to their cars for the trip to the new house. A woman, clearly in the throes of stress, walks toward her car. She is sweaty and has several colors of paint decorating her pants, shoes, arms, hair, and glasses. She is visibly exhausted. In her outstretched arms, she holds a pet carrier, from which emanates the saddest and most frightening yowls the enclosed feline can muster. The scratches on her forearms have bled and smeared so that, mixed with the other paint colors, they now resemble an abstract painting. The woman looks as if she might cry.

It was about that point when I thought to myself, "Really? This is where that path goes? Damnit!" Then again, I can't think of a situation where I'd be sweaty and bloody and about to cry that wouldn't cause me to think that.

Anyhow, I was reminded of that moment by this blog post from a woman who recently had a much, much worse day than the one I just described.

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Cars, babes, and freshness

First of all, you should know that I'm boring these days (as though you hadn't already figured that out). If you want amusement, go check out the wonderful cartoons on jerk-chicken.com.

I went to my first auto show over the weekend and came away a bit disappointed. I expected a little more glitz, a bit more of a "sex sells" attitude. What I got was a few scattered women in high heels and unflattering suits. It was amusing to watch a couple of them carry on conversations while standing on rotating platforms. They'd say a few words while traveling a few feet, take a few steps forward and start over again. At least the sellers of giant stereos on the upper level had an actual booth babe -- a woman in a very tiny skirt, an unnatural tan (of course, all tans look alien in Portland) and skimpy top. A happy looking guy got his photo taken with her -- I could tell he was a bit disappointed at the lack of professional babes, as well.

The most fascinating piece of information I picked up was that a commercial airliner offers twice the leg room of the Hummer H3. As Ransom pointed out, four of us, ranging in height from about 5'9" to extremely tall (I think Brady's somewhere around 6'5") had more than adequate leg room in Kenna's Nissan Versa -- a four door hatchback. Brady didn't even try to get his legs in the H3, Ransom's shins were cut off in the front passenger seat by the swooping glove box of doom, and Kenna and I were uncomfortable in the back seat. WTF? I feel much better about snubbing people who buy them now -- there's no reason at all to choose that over something life-size people can fit in.

The best thing I overheard was a girl admiring the vivid blue color of a Lamborghini. "Dude, check this out," she shouted over the thumping stereo that was on demonstration behind us. "Could that be fresher?"

To which her companion should have replied, "No. Nothing will ever be fresher than that."

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Rad

Michele and Ellsworth clued me in to The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny. Rad.

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Smilla, the snow girl

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This is some funny shit

Grab a beer and head over to KGW.com. It's cynical and mean of me, but I think the video where a guy recorded 15 collisions from the top of his apartment building is hilarious. It's the best comedy I've seen in... well, since I watched A Bit of Fry and Laurie last night.

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Konbonwa

After my one Japanese class (so far), I know how to introduce myself in Japanese and that's pretty much it. So I keep repeating the following: "Konbonwa. Watashi wa namae no Rebecca desu. Dozou yoro shiku onegaishimasu."

This roughly translates to, "Good evening. My name is Rebecca. By your leave, I thank you for your efforts on my behalf in the future."

I'm sure I have something wrong there and some otaku out there will correct me, but what I find interesting is the second part of this greeting. Here in the U.S., we say, "Pleased to meet you." In Spanish, they say, "Mucho gusto," which roughly translates to "much pleasure." But how very different it is to say, "I thank you for your efforts on my behalf in the future." I think this says more about the differences in culture than anything else I've learned about Japan and I am excited about learning more.

Also, I know there are several polyglots out there. What do they say in other languages?

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Meta laziness: this entire post is stolen from jasonaut.com

I'll capitalize on my laziness and just link to someone else's very insightful post from best of craigslist ...
UNDERWEAR GOES INSIDE THE PANTS

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Mom won what?

When I was a kid, my mom went to the doctor because, presumably, her appendix hurt. The doctor said, "get that thing out of there!" and surgery ensued. Only it turned out that my mom didn't need her appendix out. I have no idea what was actually wrong with her because I was a kid and didn't always pay attention to these things.

Anyhow, my mom got mad at the doctor. I know I'd be pretty mad if I was anesthetized, sliced open, and woke up with fewer organs, whether it was necessary or not. Given that it wasn't necessary and the doctor was a jerk, my mom decided to sue.

One problem with the lawsuit against the doctor was that my mom didn't want any money. She just wanted to make the point that he was a bad doctor and have it go on his record. "You can't sue for no money," she was told. This is interesting for what it says about our legal system, but isn't actually the point of this story. My mom ended up suing for medical bills and probably court fees or some such.

While this was going on, I'd hear the grownups talking about the lawsuit against the doctor, or "the doctor's suit," as it came to be known. Was there any news about the doctor's suit? they would ask while I colored in pictures of Snow White. When was the court date for the doctor's suit? they'd wonder aloud as I read Superfudge for the fourth time, or my sister braided my hair. Eventually, my mom had her day in court and won. This was exciting news! My mom won the doctor's suit!

So I waited. I waited for days and days. And still my mom insisted on wearing her regular clothes. I honestly expected her to just show up wearing scrubs one day, and I was really looking forward to it. I mean, what's the point of winning the doctor's suit if you never wear it?

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Chart happy

Who doesn't love a good line graph? I've been plunking around on the Google Trends website because it's interesting. But I want more data. For instance, the giant spike in Schadenfreude in the third quarter of 2006. What was that about? How big of a spike was it? Were dozens more people searching for it (like a single college class), or hundreds or thousands? What does it meeeeaan, Google?

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Off to a bad start

I've just re-read my previous post. The one where I say how much I want to make other people a priority. The one that's all about me, where I don't even wish you all a happy new year. So, yeah. I'm off to a bad start. May all of your resolutions be kept for longer than ten seconds.

Happy New Year!

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Changing calendars

Once again, it is the time of year when we reflect. We make resolutions we know we can't keep. It's a wonderful time of year. After all the pretending about Santa Claus and elves and the magic of the season (which is actually human kindness, and is a bit magical if you think about it), we get to pretend we're different than we really are. We're nicer, more considerate, in better physical condition, more organized, more wealthy. We handle all situations gracefully. We always know what to say. I wonder what the world would be like if everyone followed through on their New Year's resolutions? Alas, we're human, and resolve needs a lot more motivation than, "It sounded good after four glasses of champagne."

Anyhow, my end-of-year (would an optimist have typed "beginning-of-year?") reflection has led me to the following things I'd like to work on:

• Gifts. I want to be much better about giving people gifts. Specifically, I want to be better about buying them in a timely manner so that when birthdays roll around, I'm not constantly saying on the telephone, "Sorry, I know it's your birthday and your gift will be here soon." Also, paying for overnight shipping gets expensive.
• People. It's always other people who make life so rich and interesting. Last year, I focused on myself and working on my house to a large extent, but not so much on the people I cherish. The result is that I've lost touch some good friends, and failed to create new friendships because I was busy. While I'm still an introvert and I'll still work on my house, I want to make my friends more of a priority.

There are plenty things I want to cram into the new year. There are books to read, movies to watch, games to play, finances to plan, yummy food to eat, countries to visit, floors to finish, stories to write, etc. When I think about it, I realize that it needn't all be done right now, that things can be put off without the world grinding to a halt. I hope I can keep that in mind without having to think so hard as I make my way through 2007.

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